Anthony (punkrocker0304) wrote in scorned_ones,

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Tired, Bored, Lonely, Depressed, and yeah pissed off....

Thats correct.... I was suppose to update yesterday but studying called in to action last night because i had a test today. Blah... Im not even sure i fucking passed and i dont even care anymore... I want this semester to finish so badly. That explains the tiredness... As for boredom it kinda fits into play with a lil depression and the lonliness. Since the chance of me and Lily ever getting together anymore i have been bored out of my fucking mind as well as lonely and depressed.. Im just lonely cause i dont talk to her anymore nor see her...She was suppose to call me yesterday but funny how she didnt... Its not gonna be the same now that she has determined that she only sees me as a best friend and not anything more...Bah!!!!... I got that whole we gotta talk deal on Sunday... She then went on to say that im a sweet guy but she only sees me as like a best friend instead of something more...Gee i feel as though i got my head fucked with.. I mean shit i dont see myself kissing a friend the way i kissed her..So much feeling went into those... more than friend feelings. I liked her and i wanted to be with her. But i didnt want to ask her until i atleast went out with her ALONE!!! once... But no!!!!.... She had given me a dog tag with her name on it and shit. We would talk about oh what do you look for in a girl and blah blah blah...All the stuff that would lead me to believe that she wanted to be with me and was just waiting for me to ask her out.. Well FUCK!!! TO LATE NOW!!!!...... Anthony is always on the recieving end of the breakups and what have you... Im so fed up with it that i just dont want to get close to anyone anymore. Everytime i do BOOM!!! I get hurt. Im just gonna take the initiative from now on...Ill be doing the breaking up. Im tired of this shit... Actually i cant do that cause i know how it FUCKING FEELS!!!..... Im to fucking kind hearted to do that shit....But does anyone see this??? Nopers... And now that i see that Valentines Day is coming that just makes it a lil bit more worse.... Y know what fuck depressed... Im just a tad bit more angry then that... So lets just cross out Depressed up there... All this and more... Thats the story of my fucking life. Maybe i should write a book....Ill call it "The Story Of A Lonely Guy"... Itll be good i think... From my fucked up child hood, to me teens (whoo hoo!!!) , to my fucked up love life, to my future... Blah fucking Blah.... I noticed that when im pissed i curse alot...Its good to get it out in the open then keeping it inside...I feel a lil bit better...Well enough of my Bitching in gonna head off now..

Eveyone please have a Whoopie Fucking Do Da Day (im not even sure if its spelled right...oh well)

Does Anyone even write in here anymore????
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It's been a while, but I wanted to comment on this either way..
How are you doing right now?..

I know it must be pretty hard.. And I think she gave you the wrong signals. She really made you believe she wants you to be your boyfriend, and that was really wrong of her.
But hey, if you finally had a relationship with her and found out after a little while she doesn't love you the way you love her it would be at least 10000 times harder, believe me! You hardly have any love memories now, except for the kiss *if I'm right*..

This love wasn't ment to be.. One day you'll find a girl who loves you as much as you love her, and you'll forget all the lost loves and pain in your life..



January 12 2009, 02:20:23 UTC 9 years ago

Could be worse try being what you thought was happily married for 25 yrs only to find out he may have had an affair and left with the feeling am I really good enough or to old for anyone else to want me as he never appears happy only in the company of other woman........I love him so much but is this really worth it......I have no self esteem left anymore